All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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