VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Send help, water and tortillas.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
