about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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