We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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