She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
