you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
