Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
