i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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