its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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