well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
