no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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