I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
