He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize