you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
tell me about the eggs
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
