I would go down on you faster than GM stock
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
