We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
