Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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