you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize