i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
