I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
