My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
