Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
