I'm so fucking centered right now
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
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He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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