Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
