i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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