5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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