this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
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i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
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Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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