You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
