Well apparently he's into motor boating.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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