So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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