So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
try to milk me bitch
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