she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
