wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
