woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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