This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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