Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
