we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
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