So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
