do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
