Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
