...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
