I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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