I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Is Oprah even human
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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