it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize