mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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