I murdered the dance floor call the cops
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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