i was born a porn star she said
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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