haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
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