i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
