i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm sobbing to NWA
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
