Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
