how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
