your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
