what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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