i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Randomize
