on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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