This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
