erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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