...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
