You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
