Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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