Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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