I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
