eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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