Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
